Written by Beverly Mahone — a veteran journalist, author, and motivational speaker
Is marriage really better the second time around? As someone who falls into that category, I say absolutely! After nine years, I can honestly say he gets me excited in the bedroom and challenges my intellect and I feel blessed to have been given another opportunity to love again.
In hindsight, I know my first marriage wasn’t built on a foundation of love. It was “lust” right from the start. I was 22-years-old, fresh out of college and ready to explore the world and all it had to offer. When this older, suave, worldly man proved he could rock my world in the bedroom, I was swept up hook, line and sinker. I didn’t take much time to look at his other not-so-redeeming qualities. You know the saying, “you can’t see the forest for the trees.” Unfortunately, when the passion faded away, we realized we had nothing else in common. Many young people tend to confuse lust with love and fall into the trap of letting their emotions take control of their logical, rational mind.
Isn’t it interesting how differently we think when we’re young as opposed to when we grow older and wiser? When I look back over my younger days I realize I spent way too much time craving the wrong man for all the right reasons. I wanted to feel love, to be loved and to be loved in returned but sex clouded my judgment in making sure I was choosing the right mate. Can you relate? When you were younger how many times did you ignore someone’s red flag warnings because you were head over heels with the “idea” of being in love? How often did you justify or simply overlook his faults and irresponsible behavior because you were so sure he would change?
Then what happens to your happily ever after? Mine ended abruptly in divorce and I spent many days and nights trying to understand why I let myself get into such a mess. But thank God for maturity and wisdom! Once I wiped away my tears for good and took off the blinders I began to see what it really meant to be in a meaningful and loving relationship.
One of the beautiful things about growing older is it gives us the benefit of wisdom. That, in turn, allows us to make smarter choices. As for me, I’m smart enough not to believe in love at first sight anymore. One reason being is I don’t see quite as well as I used to (I do hope you found the humor it that). Growing older has taught me to be smart enough to be more discriminating in my taste. I’ve learned how to weed out the imitation from the real thing.
So now I’m happy to say God has blessed me with a new love. He’s a man who’s strong enough to deal with my strengths, yet gentle enough to understand and cope with my weaknesses and strife without judgment. I’m totally enjoying marriage the second time around and, yes, lusting after him is even better after 50.
Beverly Mahone is a veteran journalist, author, and motivational speaker. She is the author of four books and is available for speaking engagements. To learn more, visit her website: www.beverlymahone.com