Fantasies and I’m not talking Football…

Jewel Carter, Author of F@#$ Excuses, Act REVOLUTIONARY

What’s the point of having Cake…if you can’t EAT it?

So, I’m doing the do…and all of a sudden out of nowhere thoughts of my ex pop into my mind. Now, let me help you out here. I’m talking about the high school/college ex. The “we don’t really know what we’re doing, but we’re going to do it anyway ex”. The “I haven’t seen you in over 20 years, don’t you have four kids now, ex”. I’m happy to say that I do know that are very “normal” for both men and women…my question is, do you talk about yours to your mate…should you?

For as long as I could remember, I knew that I was going to like . Don’t ask me how I knew, I just knew. I also knew that I could never do it until I was ready to do it all the time. So, I waited and I waited. What I didn’t wait for was the thinking about it. I’ve always had a very graphic imagination and wondered if I was normal, because no one ever talked about girls thinking about or wanting sex.

Imagine my confusion. Was I born a boy and by some freak accident ended up with breast? What’s wrong with me? It would be after college before I found out that I was normal. That not only did girls, women even “ladies” think about sex, they enjoyed sex. Sex with people that they were not married to or in some cases…not even in a serious relationship with.

Well, since I waited so long to do the do, I’d convinced myself that I had to be in before doing it…so, I waited until I was. Now, I did mention that I was a little slow right? Now, imagine, I’ve waited all this time and everything is great. Then one day, out of the blue, it happened. I don’t know how or why, it just did. His hand was going one place and my mind went somewhere else, with someone else. I felt guiltier than the time I broke my mom’s favorite crystal angel and blamed it on my poodle.

To relieve my guilt afterwards, I asked a question that at any other given time; I’d never want to hear the answer yes to… “Do you every think of anyone else while we’re doing it?” His answer, “No, do you”? Again, here I go thinking I was born a boy, with breast. I lied. “Nope, only you”, I say. That was then.

Now, well, let’s just say that I have a list and some things I’m checking off twice. Personally, I love to share my fantasies with my mate. He finds them humorous most of the time. Other times he says, “we can try that”.


Now without pointing fingers, I already know that some of you are going “WTH, I already know this”. Well, put your freak flags down for a moment because believe it or not, there are some that still do not. They’ve been with one partner all their lives and didn’t have girlfriends to talk to about these things. They were never told that it is perfectly normal and okay to have fantasies and actual experiences and that having a freak flag is a good…NO, a GREAT thing. Here are a few sexual fantasies that both Men and Women have:

~Fantasies about their current partner ~Sexual domination (nonviolent) ~Sex with another Man or Woman or both @ same time ~Giving or Receiving Oral Sex ~Anal Sex ~Sex with a Stranger ~Having Your Partner Masturbate for You ~Voyeurism and Exhibitionism ~Sex with an ex ~Fantasies involving romantic sex and so many more!

Feel free to add your own fantasies. Go ahead dare to dream, to have your cake and fantasy too. Sharing may be a bigger payoff than you think. Remember though, sometimes it’s better to dream it than live it.

Follow Jewel Carter on Twitter @jewelcsvoice | Image Source: 20th Century Fox | Carmen Jones