Written byAngel Lopez*
At the ripe old age of 66 and after 22 years of marriage, I woke up one day and realized that suddenly I’m single and want to date! After my divorce, my initial thought was “nobody is going to want to go out with me let alone date me!” Boy was I ever wrong!! Not knowing where to go or how to re-enter the dating game, I tried Match.com since I had heard good things about the men that sign up for Match (they’re ready for relationships and don’t want to play around, etc.). Oddly enough, I connected with a couple of men that didn’t want anything but a sexual relationship which I definitely didn’t want. Then I “ran into” an old friend who’s 68 and also single. We went out to dinner a couple of times but I realized after the first dinner date that while he’s a really nice guy, I just wasn’t interested and found the conversation lacking energy and substance.
After talking virtually to more candidates, I decided not to continue with Match and to try and find someone the “old fashion way” by going out and meeting people. A friend suggested that I try a group that she belonged to on Facebook so I reluctantly agreed but accepted her invitation to join the group. Having had some experience with Match about posting a profile and picture, I posted my picture to the group and low and behold the flood gates opened with tons of men – YOUNG MEN!! The youngest one to initially contact me was 38 and the oldest was 60! I had found a new audience! The younger man! Enter Phillip*: 44 (a twenty-two year age difference), 6’6 (I’m 5’2), his own home, hard-working and very handsome. Our first date was lunch at a lovely restaurant midway between his house and my house.
Lunch was stimulating!! The conversation was lively with sparks flying everywhere. Clearly this was what I wanted and what I had been looking for! Someone with energy and a youthful perspective who “gets” me and Phillip did! Anyone who’s been through a divorce knows your self-esteem suffers and you think you’re damaged goods and not fit to be with anyone. But I will tell anyone going through that now that it’s now true! Phillip was smitten and by the end of our lunch I could tell we were going to be a couple. While he was coming out of a relationship as well, we had a marvelous time together and even though he decided to go back to his ex and try to work things out, he was my first encounter into the dating game and I have him to thank for restoring my faith in men and dating. All was not lost! Since Phillip there have been three other men that I’ve dated including my current Bae Tony* who is 53. I love the way younger men know what they want in a woman and are not shy about letting a woman know. The men I’ve dated have been 15 sometimes 20 to 22 years younger than me and they’ve all been sophisticated, witty, intelligent not to mention the sex has been outrageous! The stamina!!!
When asked “what do I see in younger men” (besides the sex) I have to say first of all, I don’t date men young enough to be my son. They generally fall between 46 and 55 which to me is a grown ass man! They are always accomplished know what they want from life and a woman. These men find my age attractive and alluring. They have my undivided attention when we’re together and they know it’s all about them! I’ve been fortunate to meet some great guys! These men tried going out with women their own age but quickly lost interest in them because of the emphasis women place on being on social media (checking their phones every minute, posting pictures on Facebook of the two of them, etc.), not caring about the relationship enough to keep people out of their business and causing drama which lead these men to seek something different – an older woman!
I wouldn’t trade any of my relationships for the world! I have thoroughly enjoyed them and sometimes negative age-related thoughts creep into my mind (what if he meets someone his own age, or no longer finds me attractive) I have every reason to believe that what they want is to be with me the woman – and my age doesn’t factor into the equation. It is through that I have been reassured that I am the one they want and as long as that is case I won’t complain cause truly “age ain’t nothing but a number!”
*The names have been changed